shazgirl (shazgirl) wrote,

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Slight meltdown

Apart from morning sickness until halfway through the pregnancy I have come through fairly well. I am fortunate (as is Danny!) that I haven't had the mood swings that a lot of women seem to experience. Although I did have a crying fit over tea the other day. :(
I have not been on wonderful terms with food during the pregnancy. This wasn't helped by the afore-mentioned morning sickness until halfway through. I have just not been interested in food. That fact that I have spent most of the pregnancy not interested in chocolate says an awful lot. I haven't had any food cravings so Danny has not been sent out to buy particular foods at odd hours or been faced with demands for strange food combinations. I haven't even had the huge appetite that most women seem to get at some point. I no longer seem to get any hunger signals from my body. Since I have finished work and have lost the pattern of my work days it is easy for me to get to 7pm at night and realise that I haven't yet eaten and even then still not be interested in eating. All of which helps to explain why I am only 3 kilos heavier than when I got pregnant.
Lola cooked the tea the other day. Lola cooks vegetables in the old style - put them in a saucepan full of cold water and bring to the boil. And boil and boil and boil. Until colour, nutrients, flavour and texture are gone. YOU know - broccoli that you can mash into a pulp with your fork. Urgh. She cooks this way even when cooking frozen peas where the packet says to add to already boiling water and cook for around a minute. I am not fond of her vegetables at the best of times. The other day she cooked "Ky See Ming" - that meal that many of us grew up with where the company making the chicken noodle soup mix invented a recipe and put it on the pack so we would buy more packets of soup. She called it "Ky See MIng" before making it but kept referring to it as "stew" once it was made. Which was probably the more accurate description. Take a saucepan, add cabbage, carrot, mince and an unmeasured amount of water that guarantees that the end result will still contain a lot of water. Presumably there was also chicken noodle soup mix added to this but I couldn't tell from the taste. And boil, boil, boil. At the end you have a meal consisting of boiled cabbage, boiled carrots and boiled mince meat with no flavour. Yummy. To make it worse she completely filled the plate from edge to edge even though I have spent weeks telling her that I cannot eat that much and to *please* not give me that much. I have been throwing out food lately because I simply cannot eat the amounts she is giving to me but she still keeps just doing things like pouring a huge amount of frozen peas into the saucepan without any measurement and then heaps most of it onto my plate because she "can't eat that much" and "isn't hungry". Me too! So why are you giving it to me?
Anyway, faced with a full plate of this appetising fare I fell apart. I think it was the sheer amount of it that pushed me over the edge. I *possibly* could have managed if there wasn't so much of it. But tired, not hungry or in any way interested in food and faced with this I just started crying as I attempted to spoon it up into my mouth. I ended up leaving the food and lying down on the bed to cry where Danny later found me and cuddled me. After I eventually stopped crying I went and threw out the plate of food as there was no way I could manage to eat it.
I would be happy not to burst into tears over such a simple thing again thanks. All it did was give me a headache and make me feel rotten. Not exactly the best use of my spare time. ;) The odd thing about Lola and the vegetables is that when we have Asian food she really likes the way the vegetables are cooked i.e. for a short time so that they are still crisp. Sigh.

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